Being comfortable is no excuse for getting stuck in a rut.

We are creatures of habit; for many of us, consistency makes us feel all “warm-n-fuzzy” inside. And we like avoiding pain in life, so we tend to gravitate towards habits that build consistency, which makes us feel “warm-n-fuzzy.”

To put it in layman’s terms, we let our desire for comfort let us get ourselves stuck in ruts.

Five weeks ago I started attending classes in management and mathematics. I happened to sit in whatever seat was available in the first session of each class. At the second session in both classes I noticed that I, along with almost everyone else, was sitting in the same seat we had the week before.

That got me thinking about our unconscious drive for consistency and it got me paying attention to my own behaviors as well as the behaviors of everyone around me.

During the third week of classes - I broke out and sat in a radically different place during my math class. I not only changed my perspective, but I created some dissonance for everyone else! The previous two weeks I had been sitting near the front of the class, right in the middle of a group of students. The third week I choose to sit near the back of the class, in a more sparsely populated row.

Almost immediately I started getting odd looks from those around me who were not used to me being there. I also had a few students I had previously sat near at the front of the room ask me if I wanted them to save “my” seat near them.

The same thing happened in my management class. When I moved radically away from the seat I generally sat in, I got uncomfortable looks from the people I moved near and confused looks from the people I moved away from.

Neither of my classes has assigned seating, this behaviour happened organically. Students picked “their” seat during the first class, and with little exception they haven’t moved since.

I’ve noticed this behavior all my life, but my awareness of it has been more at my periphery - sort of there but not fully in focus. At multi-day conventions I’ve seen people gravitate to the same seats and the same groups. At office events cliques form and hold together at work, during company events, and even at non-company events.

I’m guilty of falling into these ruts, as I’m sure we all are.

And as I think about the people I know who don’t seem to let themselves fall into such ruts, I come up with a list of people which compares almost directly to my list of successful people I know.

My mentor and coach never sat in the same place twice, and never hesitated in introducing herself to new people. She was the very definition of not being stuck in a rut. She was also pretty darn successful.

I look at some of the high-level salespeople I know who have had impressive financial success and they’re the same way. They can reach out of their ruts and connect with new people constantly. They never sit with the same groups from one company function to another.

These people, all successful, have made a habit of not getting stuck in habits. They have identified ruts all around them and they have worked to avoid them. In some cases I’m sure it’s unconscious behavior - some people are just wired that way. But I know for myself, I have to make a conscious effort to identify my ruts and avoid them. I suspect there are a lot of people out there like this too.

How do you identify your ruts?

The first step is awareness; you have to be aware of your physical, mental and spiritual environment and your place in it. If it sounds like I talk about awareness a lot it’s because most people are not aware of their physical, mental and spiritual environment and you must gain awareness before you can begin to make meaningful changes.

So gaining awareness of yourself, your desires and planning an aware-destiny is a key in every improvement or development you’ll make in yourself.

For the next week try to be conscious of why you make the daily, routine decisions you make. Why did you go to lunch with a certain group of people? Why did you sit in your usual place at the staff meeting?

What do you do to get out of your ruts?

At home, my wife is constantly in a state of re-decoration. It seems every week there will be a new rug on the floor or different throw pillows on the couch or the curtains have been changed somehow. She desperately wants to re-paint the main rooms of the house. She does this because it keeps her perspective and her environment fresh.

What would happen if you went to lunch with a group of people you’ve never gone to lunch with? What would happen if you moved the staff meeting from the conference room to a nearby coffee shop?

Would making a change like this change your patterns? Would it force you out of your daily rut - even if only for a short while?

I argue that it will. It might be a little uncomfortable at first, but nothing truly great was ever achieved by someone stuck in their comfort zone.

I challenge you to first work to become aware of the ruts you’re in, and second to create unique and creative ways to get out of those ruts.

When you do, you’ll be in a higher state of awareness than 99% of the people you see around you who are just action out their daily routine; and you’ll be poised to improve and develop yourself at the same time!

1 comment February 16th, 2006