We are creatures of habit; for many of us, consistency makes us feel all “warm-n-fuzzy” inside. And we like avoiding pain in life, so we tend to gravitate towards habits that build consistency, which makes us feel “warm-n-fuzzy.”
To put it in layman’s terms, we let our desire for comfort let us get ourselves stuck in ruts.
Five weeks ago I started attending classes in management and mathematics. I happened to sit in whatever seat was available in the first session of each class. At the second session in both classes I noticed that I, along with almost everyone else, was sitting in the same seat we had the week before.
That got me thinking about our unconscious drive for consistency and it got me paying attention to my own behaviors as well as the behaviors of everyone around me.
During the third week of classes - I broke out and sat in a radically different place during my math class. I not only changed my perspective, but I created some dissonance for everyone else! The previous two weeks I had been sitting near the front of the class, right in the middle of a group of students. The third week I choose to sit near the back of the class, in a more sparsely populated row.
Almost immediately I started getting odd looks from those around me who were not used to me being there. I also had a few students I had previously sat near at the front of the room ask me if I wanted them to save “my” seat near them.
The same thing happened in my management class. When I moved radically away from the seat I generally sat in, I got uncomfortable looks from the people I moved near and confused looks from the people I moved away from.
Neither of my classes has assigned seating, this behaviour happened organically. Students picked “their” seat during the first class, and with little exception they haven’t moved since.
I’ve noticed this behavior all my life, but my awareness of it has been more at my periphery - sort of there but not fully in focus. At multi-day conventions I’ve seen people gravitate to the same seats and the same groups. At office events cliques form and hold together at work, during company events, and even at non-company events.
I’m guilty of falling into these ruts, as I’m sure we all are.
And as I think about the people I know who don’t seem to let themselves fall into such ruts, I come up with a list of people which compares almost directly to my list of successful people I know.
My mentor and coach never sat in the same place twice, and never hesitated in introducing herself to new people. She was the very definition of not being stuck in a rut. She was also pretty darn successful.
I look at some of the high-level salespeople I know who have had impressive financial success and they’re the same way. They can reach out of their ruts and connect with new people constantly. They never sit with the same groups from one company function to another.
These people, all successful, have made a habit of not getting stuck in habits. They have identified ruts all around them and they have worked to avoid them. In some cases I’m sure it’s unconscious behavior - some people are just wired that way. But I know for myself, I have to make a conscious effort to identify my ruts and avoid them. I suspect there are a lot of people out there like this too.
How do you identify your ruts?
The first step is awareness; you have to be aware of your physical, mental and spiritual environment and your place in it. If it sounds like I talk about awareness a lot it’s because most people are not aware of their physical, mental and spiritual environment and you must gain awareness before you can begin to make meaningful changes.
So gaining awareness of yourself, your desires and planning an aware-destiny is a key in every improvement or development you’ll make in yourself.
For the next week try to be conscious of why you make the daily, routine decisions you make. Why did you go to lunch with a certain group of people? Why did you sit in your usual place at the staff meeting?
What do you do to get out of your ruts?
At home, my wife is constantly in a state of re-decoration. It seems every week there will be a new rug on the floor or different throw pillows on the couch or the curtains have been changed somehow. She desperately wants to re-paint the main rooms of the house. She does this because it keeps her perspective and her environment fresh.
What would happen if you went to lunch with a group of people you’ve never gone to lunch with? What would happen if you moved the staff meeting from the conference room to a nearby coffee shop?
Would making a change like this change your patterns? Would it force you out of your daily rut - even if only for a short while?
I argue that it will. It might be a little uncomfortable at first, but nothing truly great was ever achieved by someone stuck in their comfort zone.
I challenge you to first work to become aware of the ruts you’re in, and second to create unique and creative ways to get out of those ruts.
When you do, you’ll be in a higher state of awareness than 99% of the people you see around you who are just action out their daily routine; and you’ll be poised to improve and develop yourself at the same time!
February 16th, 2006
I’m starting my second week of taking power naps during the day. For the last two days I’ve been napping without using any music or the Pzizz software I had been using last week. I want to have a control to see if I find a certain method works better for me.
I have noticed that when I “go it alone” I have been having a much more difficult time getting settled down and actually relaxing. My office is on a busy hallway and there is a lot of foot traffic and noise outside my door all day long - it’s very noticeable even when the door is closed (apparently because my door is made of balsa wood!). Couple that with the general noise of our warehouse (it’s on the other side of my back wall) and you end up with a pretty noisy environment in which to be resting and relaxing.
But I’ve been doing my best and while I find it’s taken me long to get relaxed without headphones and Pzizz playing, I can do it. I’ve also noticed that once I do get relaxed I feel like it’s at a deeper level. By the end of my nap I’m almost completely asleep and after stretching and “waking up” I find that I have more energy.
I think it’s possible because there isn’t anything other than normal office noise that my brain is concentrating on (and it’s learned to tune that out for the most part). When I used Pzizz last week I felt like I was able to get settled down much more quickly, but when I don’t use anything I feel like my naps have been deeper and more restful.
My plan is to finish out this week with no music or Pzizz while I nap. Next week I’ll use some soothing and relaxing music from a CD I own which doesn’t promise any specific restful results. My quest is to find out the best and most restful way to power nap. After doing it for the last week, I’m confident as I start on my second week of power napping that it’s a very valuable tool. I feel much more relaxed and energetic during the day, and I feel like my stress level is lower too. I highly recommend you give it a try if you’ve been reading these articles, but haven’t yet tried it for yourself.
February 15th, 2006
I’ve always been a fan of naps. They make you feel great (if you don’t sleep to long) and they’re easy to do almost anywhere you can get quiet for a short period of time (on your lunch break, etc.).
I’ve also been intrigued by self-hypnosis as a tool to enhance personal development. I dabbled in it years ago and was able to get to the point where I could - through relaxation and meditation - get myself into a light suggestive state. I never had any major break-through with self-hypnosis though, and because of that I let my interest in its possibilities wane.
I just discovered an interesting piece of software that promises to blend power-napping with subconscious suggestion and NLP to provide the refreshing power of a nap with the benefits of developing and improving yourself.
Is it a bunch of hooey? I don’t know…yet.
My plan is to use this system for a month and see if I notice any significant changes in my behavior, attitude, personal development, or just in how I feel.
The software is called Pzizz (download their free trial to check it out yourself). I don’t have any affiliation with this company, I found them while out surfing the Internet and their software piqued my interest.
I would be interested in hearing from any of you if you’ve used their software before and what experience you had with it. Please post a comment or use the contact form to get in touch with me.
Happy napping!
February 7th, 2006
We all have habits, but do you ever stop and really pay attention to how strong those habits can be?
This morning I woke up, drug myself out of bed and climbed into the shower - a normal start to the day. After showering I dried off and prepared to brush my teeth and take care of my hair.
I use a product in my hair that’s a cross between a gel and a pomade. Normally I take off my wedding ring before using it; if I don’t, I’ll get some of this goop in the grooves of my ring, and between my skin and the ring and it will end up being sticky all day long. It’s a pain to get it washed off, so I just avoid the problem by taking my ring off.
I’ve been doing this everyday for the last three years. When you do anything everyday for three years - whether it’s good or bad for you - you better believe it will become a habit.
I wear my watch - a water resistant, stainless-steel number - on my left hand too, and it never comes off when I swim or shower. Last night my hand was hurting a little so I had taken my ring off. I didn’t have it on this morning when I showered, but I was wearing my watch.
After getting out of the shower this morning I reached for my ring (automatically) and my mind, realizing it wasn’t there, didn’t miss a beat and unbuckled the clasp on my watch and removed it. I wasn’t even aware of what I had done until after I was running my hands through my hair and I looked down and saw my watch laying next to the sink!
The habit of removing my ring from my left hand is so strong that in lieu of taking off my ring, my brain had to remove something. As I said, I was literally not aware of it until I looked down and saw my watch, laying there.
If this habit - one that’s seemingly insignificant - is that powerful, how much am I a slave - sometimes not even realizing it - to my other habits…habits I’ve had longer than just three years? How much are you a slave to your habits?
I think this is a powerful illustration of how much we let our daily lives be driven by our habits. If we have good, positive habits or we have poor, negative habits - we’re going to act them out.
This is why it’s so important to be mindful of the habits and patterns we repeat over and over to make sure we can catch those negative habits and create a plan to replace them with positive ones!
February 3rd, 2006
