Posts filed under 'Passion'
I enjoy motivational quotes and things which keep me mindful of staying on-track to improve myself and develop new skills.
At my office I had some dead space on a cork board since I use whiteboards pretty exclusively.
So I thought, “Why don’t I create some quick little motivational cards I can print out to pin up on my cork board?” I had a 4″ x 6″ photo printer and a little free time, so I whipped up a batch that looked reasonably good arrainged in a 3×3 grid.
Once the cards were up people around the office commented on them. Some asked where I bought them, some asked where the quotes came from. They became a little conversation piece. Hopefully they had a positive influence on others in the office.
So I decided to share them everyone.
(click to enlarge)
There are 9 cards in total and they’re sized to print and look pretty good on 4″ x 6″ photo paper.
I hope you enjoy them and I hope they have a positive influence on the people around you!
Click to download SuccessMinders-Motivation-Cards.zip for yourself.
May 24th, 2006
Everyday as I drive to and from work I pass a small house that’s been converted into an office. There is a sign in the front yard, right by the road, with the company name and below that a place for those gas-station-style letters.
There is always a positive quote or saying on the sign. Every three or four days there is a new saying.
The company isn’t a sales-training firm, marketing firm, dot-com venture or any of the other types of businesses you might think would do something unique like this. The company is Metzler Plumbing and Heating.
For the last three years I’ve driven past this sign - twice a day - and been positively influenced by it. The owners don’t know me, I don’t have any sort of business relationship with the company - yet they’ve found a way to reach me - and in a positive way to boot!
How often do you have an influence on other people? The answer is “all the time” unless you live a hermit’s life with no human contact at all.
But how often are you not even aware of the influence you have on other people? Everything we do and say speaks to others about the quality and content of our character and our beliefs. It’s up to us to choose to be mindful of our influence.
The truly enlightened are not only mindful of their influence, they go out of their way to make sure their influence is positive, uplifting, and constructive - even when there is no direct connection. This is certainly the case with the owners of Metzler Plumbing and Heating.
As I was writing this article, I realized that it applies to me too. If I’m going to promote SuccessMinders as a resource for success-minded people, I have to be mindful of my influence on people not only at this web site, but at any other web community in which I participate.
It’s the same philosophy as being nice to everyone with whom you interact, because you never know who you’ll meet. Have you ever realized - after an introduction and your first impression has been made - who the person really was? You probably spent the next few seconds racking your brain, trying to make sure your impression and introduction was positive (i.e. you had a positive influence).
Being mindful of your influence is the first step. You should know how you reach and touch people within your sphere of influence (as big or small as it may be). The second step is making sure that in that sphere of influence you’re a positive influence!
Being a positive influence can be easy or it can be difficult. It all depends on you and whether you have people who positively influence you. There is no such thing as “winning” the game of life - there is always another obstacle to overcome or a bigger goal to achieve, or a higher notch you can set when you raise the bar.
It’s easy when you have your own positive influence network building you up. There are people in my life that don’t just make small talk or complain about their latest defeat in life. They put the question to me and ask if I’m on track with my goals, how I’m doing in school, how this web site is going. They’re encouraging and supportive and have a direct positive impact on me. When I’ve spent more time around these people, I find it much easier myself to turn around and try to encourage and build up the other people in my life.
It ends up being a big circle, where each person is pulled up and built up by those that positively influence them, and then in turn they pull up and build up others in their sphere of influence. And think how powerful it is when you can pull up and build up people en masse.
Today’s message on Metzler’s sign was a good one and one that I was able to personally take to heart, so I am sharing it here with you; “Always keep your promises — to both your friends and foes alike!”
Remember to be aware that you always influence those around you even if you’re not aware of it!
February 26th, 2006
How safe should you live life? Well, you obviously don’t want to live so close to the edge that you’re always in danger of killing yourself, but you shouldn’t live always looking for the 100% “safe” option in life.
Because here’s a secret that we all forget from time to time; there is no 100% “safe” option in life.
Did you get in your car and drive to work this morning? 49,000 people in the United States died in auto accidents in 2004. 1.1 million people world wide died in auto accidents, and 38 million were injured.
Even if you’re the most risk-averse person out there, it’s very likely you get into your car every day and drive somewhere - to work or to school. Driving can be a risky proposition, but we all still do it.
We do it because we calculate that we’re pretty likely to be safe, even while involved in a potentially risk activity. We weight the odds and roll the dice.
I love the quote director, screenwriter, and producer Robert Altman:
“To play it safe is not to play.”
–Robert Altman
The people who learn to play are those that excel in life. And when I say “play” I mean learn to take calculated risks while seizing the passion in their lives.
Have you every dreamed about staring your own business, but fear held you back? You’ve played it safe. If you did start your own business, what’s the worst that could happen? You might fail, and depending on how badly you fail you might lose your material possessions.
But you’ll still have your health. And you’ll have something more important and that’s the experience that will benefit you in your next endeavor.
Magicians Penn and Teller have a rule. They call this the rule of NPD - no permanent damage. Before undertaking a risky stunt or a tricky magic routine they ask the question, “Will this permanently cause me damage?” If the answer is yes, they don’t do it.
They are playing and not playing it safe. And they are outrageous and larger than life because they’ll undertake something that’s risky and on the edge. They’re using their rule of NPD to make them superstars - why can’t you?
Let me share a story…
Years ago I started an Internet business. It wasn’t because it was “the thing to do”, but because I really loved the potential and the possibility that the Internet represented. I knew how to make the Internet do what I wanted, but I didn’t know the first thing about running a business. I was a 20 year old college drop-out who had never taken a business class in his life.
It quickly became apparent that while I had all the necessary skills I needed technically, I didn’t have any of the necessary skills to succeed in sales and running a business. Sure, I was able to fake it for a while, but eventually my inexperience caught up to me and it all came crashing down around me. I lost everything I had at the time (which was admittedly not much at all), but I was still alive and I was still looking at things and trying to make the technology connection. I suffered no permanent damage.
So I tried again and put in place better systems to shore up my own shortcomings. And I fared much better. Bad decisions on my part (and my partners’ parts) led to us selling our business at the bottom of the “dot.com” crash rather than at the top (we go greedy). But that experience left me with more life experience and set me up for the next thing I tackled.
If I had played it safe, I probably wouldn’t have started the first company. But I also wouldn’t have had the experience to get where I am today and I certainly would have built the relationships and forged the friendships I have today.
I’m not advising you run out at take stupid risks because I said not to play life safe. I’m suggesting you look at the things you haven’t achieved and the things you haven’t undertaken and ask yourself why.
If it’s fear that’s holding you back, you have to ask if taking action would result in permanent damage. If the answer is yes, then you have to tweak your action or your desired outcome until you can confidently say that undertaking the action will not result in permanent damage.
And once you’ve tweaked and changed to this point, you need to take action! Get your risk under control and then “just do it!”
Don’t live life by playing it safe. Go and be a superstar!
February 24th, 2006
A few days ago I was sitting in a doctor’s waiting room, waiting on my wife. They had a TV tuned to a local station, showing the morning news. With my only other entertainment option being to read a 9 month old copy of “Good Housekeeping” - I settled in to watch the news.
There was a teaser right before a commercial block promising a must-see segment on how to protect my baby from RSV. I don’t have a baby and I wasn’t even sure what the heck “RSV” was, but the anchor sold it with such urgency that I knew I must stay tuned to learn these potentially life-saving tips.
When the commercials were over, the lead in promise me that I would soon be thanking the local news team for this vital information about saving my baby’s life from RSV; thus the segment began.
I learned that “RSV” is an acronym for respiratory syncytial virus - the news segment never really made it clear what exactly it was other than a respiratory “bug”.
The “life saving” tips amounted to a fancy on-screen graphic with the following tips (literally):
And with that, the news segment was over. There was no additional information about RSV. There was no additional information about how you could identify if the people around you had RSV so you could avoid them. The entire segment was very superficial and seemed to pander to a “lowest common denominator” viewing segment.
The rest of the time I watched the morning news program I realized that all they were doing was skimming the surface of every topic they covered.
And it made me think about my own interactions with people. Did I just skim the surface or did I dive deep? That is, did I make only a superficial effort with other people or did I really take the time and energy to get to know someone on a deeper level?
I think we make snap judgments when meeting people on whether or not we’re going to skim the surface with that person or dive deep and really get to know them, but why do we decide this? As compassionate and passionate people shouldn’t we want to get to know everyone on a deeper level?
There have been times I’ve been guilty of simply skimming the surface myself. I’ve been to parties or business mixers where I didn’t really make any real effort to get to know the people to whom I was introduced. When I’ve skimmed the surface in the past, those events have never been very meaningful for me.
Conversely when I’ve been at events where I’ve really made an effort to dive deep and put effort into really getting to know people on a personal level I find the events to be much more personally fulfilling and meaningful. And the times I’ve made an effort to dive deep in relationships with people, I’ve made friends and forged very strong relationships.
Some of these relationships have benefited me in business immensely over and over again.
Do you skim the surface in some relationships while diving deep in others? Why? Why don’t you dive deep with everyone? I realize that this is a bit of an idealistic statement - there are times where the other person is only interested in skimming the surface with you, there are times when you just don’t have the energy, etc. But think how many more fulfilling relationships you would have if you tried to dive deep with everyone!
This is where passion comes into play. If you’re passionate about success and achievement and personal development, you should be passionate about helping other people understand your success-oriented message. You can’t do this unless you dive deep and really build a meaningful relationship where trust and understanding is a key part of the foundation.
I don’t know about you, but I get excited thinking about the possibility of building deep, strong relationships like this. I might not be able to help everyone find passion and enthusiasm for personal development - some just won’t be interested - but when I can help that one person who needs help, well the feeling is just amazingly powerful!
And really, diving deep only takes a little more effort than skimming the surface. Think about a situation where you skimmed the surface with someone; what would it really have taken to go deeper? In most cases it will only take a sincere desire to really listen to and understand the person with whom your interacting. And you’ll have the added benefit of really making that other person’s day because we all feel great when we’re talking to someone who’s interested in letting us talk about ourselves!
So the next time you catch yourself skimming the surface with another person, make the effort to dive deep. Who knows, you might just end up building a long lasting relationship!
February 20th, 2006
How much weight does an idea have? How solid is an idea? It’s sometimes difficult to think about ideas as a tangible “thing” since they seem so ethereal and untouchable.
I think that ideas have a lot more “weight” than people believe. Consider this; every thing around you that is man-made started out as an idea. Nothing sprang forth into existence without first being someones dream and idea.
This web site started as a dream and then an idea. I didn’t just wake up one morning and - poof - I had a web site. It took planning and preparation and work, but it all started with an idea.
The company I work for didn’t just start in the state it’s in today. It started as an idea of one of the co-founders. His idea eventually turned into a booming business, but before there was inventory and offices, there was an idea.
I’ve read that every day, every person has at lease one “million dollar idea” - but most of us aren’t aware enough of the power of our ideas to realize it and capitalize on it. Bill Gates had an idea that he capitalized on - a computer on every desk. This idea, carried out, had made him worth almost $30 billion dollars today.
How often are you struck by an idea that sounds like a winner, but you’re not in a place where you can capture the idea? I’ve been hit with some great ideas driving in the car; I get excited because I think the idea really has merit, but by the time I’m home I’ve let myself get focused on a jerk who cut me off or I let myself get distracted by a song on the radio. Inevitably by the time I get home and am ambushed at the door by my dog and talk to my wife about her day, I’ve forgotten my great idea.
Or I’ll get a good idea for an article for this web site and I’ll think to myself, “No need to write it down, it’s such a good idea I won’t possibly forget it…” and ten minutes later I’m scratching my head, wondering what I was so excited to write about.
The trick is to not let these ideas slip out of your grasp so easily. Ideas can slip out of your head as easily as sand slips out from between your fingers. So to give yourself an advantage, you need to arm yourself with tools that you can actually integrate into your daily routine that will enhance your odds of being able to immediately capture ideas as they come to you.
1) Keep paper on you at all times
It sounds simple, but how often have you scrambled for some scrap paper to make a note, or ended up tearing up a napkin while jotting down a phone number? If you make it easy to keep paper on you at all times, you’ll never have to worry about what to write you idea on.
I like using 3″ x 5″ index cards because they’re big enough to put a lot on but still fit in your pocket easily, you can get them anywhere, and they’re cheap. To make it easy to hold them, I bought a leather index card case from Gifts For Professionals. Levenger also makes a pocket briefcase to hold index cards, but it’s $38.00 and the case from Gifts for Professionals is only $15.95.
I take blank, unlined 3″ x 5″ index cards and print them myself. I threw together a layout that works for me and includes a few nice “features” and I print them up on my laser printer by the hundred.
2) Keep a pen on you at all times
It goes without saying that if you always carry paper, you should always carry a pen, but which pen? A lot of HPDA users swear by the Fischer Space Pen - and as far as a company goes you won’t find one that does customer service better. I have one of their Bullet Pens myself. It’s a great pen, but I have to remember to put it in my pocket every day.
So I got myself a Cross ION pen. I like it because it clips onto my key chain, so if I have my keys with me I have a pen with me. It’s also a gel pen, which I find more comfortable to write with than a ballpoint pen.
3) Keep a voice recorder in the car
A couple of years ago I was given a small, digital voice recorder as a gift. I was never really sure what I should use it for, it only held 45 minutes and the quality wasn’t great. It wouldn’t be much use for recording seminars or classes and there was no way to easily download the contents to a computer, so I would only be able to fill it once before I had to convert everything to notes and delete the memory.
The one thing it had going for it was it was very small and it would keep track of individual entries, so you could scroll to the 15th recording and just play that one recording.
It quickly found a home in my car, clipped to the driver’s side sun visor. Now when an idea strikes me while driving, I just have to reach up and hit “record” to capture my idea. I then jot it on a note card when I arrive at my destination, before I leave the car. It also has the added benefit of being just good enough to record talk-radio, so if I get into an interesting story I want to relay, I can reach up and hit “record” and get up to 45 minutes of the program (music, however, is completely inaudible).
Keeping myself armed with tools to capture my ideas has - I feel - helped me tremendously. Once you understand how valuable ideas really are, you’ll know the importance of making it easy to capture them.
The next step is learning which ideas are the “million dollar” ideas, and learning how to capitalize on them. But that’s something I’m still working on myself!
February 10th, 2006
Does the name Douglas McGregor ring a bell? If it doesn’t you’ve probably still experienced (internally or externally) his work.
In the 1960s he postulated his Theory X and Theory Y to describe attitude toward motivation (specifically in the workplace).
I think that these theories can be expanded to include not only workplace motivation, but motivation in general. These two theories can probably be best summed up as follows: Theory X = pessimistic view of people and motivation. Theory Y = optimistic view of people and motivation.
The basis of the two theories are:
Theory X - people are inherently lazy and will avoid work. They need close supervision and constant management to keep them on track. People prefer to be directed and dislike taking on responsibility and have a high need for security.
Theory Y - work is a natural part of life and people desire to excel and achieve. Job satisfaction is important and responsibility to implement and achieve a desired outcome are important and imagination and creativity are sought after and encouraged.
Of course, this is all just management theory - taught to aspiring BAs and MBAs. But if you look around, can’t you identify and categorize people into these categories pretty easily?
All around me are “X-people” and “Y-people”. The owner of the company I work for is most definitely a Y-person. He fully believes that people want to work hard, will work hard and are driven by responsibility and achievement. He will gladly handout more and more responsibility to anyone who asks for it. This is the filter through which he sees the world - to him everyone looks like a Y-person.
My father is more of an X-person. He believes that unless he’s directing a lot of little details about things happening around him, people will not do what’s necessary to accomplish the task at hand. This is the filter through which he sees the world - to him everyone looks like an X-person.
More than just a management theory, I believe that the “X” and “Y” perspective of viewing the world is something we apply to our own filters. If we believe people don’t want to work and need constant, micro-management we tend to apply this belief (unfairly) to everyone. Conversely, if we believe in personal responsibility, motivation and a sense of accomplishment and achievement by a job well done, we tend to apply that belief (unfairly) to everyone.
It can bite us in the backside both ways. I am a very strong Y-person and several years ago I was in a position where all of the management had an “X” orientation to motivation. Working in that atmosphere was unbearable. I was miserable and withing months of joining the team I was looking for a way out.
On the other side of the street; I had a person working for me a few years ago who would - if left to their own devices - do nothing to further their projects. They needed stronger guidance and supervision than I provided (being a strong Y-person) and subsequently they did not last long in the position either.
My job failed me because the management didn’t change their “X vs. Y” filters. I failed my employee because I didn’t change my “X vs. Y” filters.
The ideal solution is to evaluate people and put them into a situation that’s most comfortable and conducive for them, but most of the time we don’t stop to think about things like motivation factors. We often assume that people are motivated the same way we are, and that’s how we interact with them.
The first step to breaking out of our routine of seeing the whole world through a set filter is to know what the differences are (thank you Douglas McGregor!). The second step is to evaluate the relationships you’re in and the people in them to find out if it’s most appropriate to wear “X” glasses or “Y” glasses.
We have to learn to change our filters from permanent lenses to interchangeable lenses we can switch out when needed.
If you’re reading this article and this web site, I’m going to take the liberty and assume I’m communicating with another strongly oriented Y-person. I try to know my audience and write accordingly. This site is probably not well received by strongly oriented X-people.
Intellectually this makes a lot of sense, but actually doing it takes practice and work. The stronger your predilection towards “X” or “Y”, the harder you will have to work to view people through the other filter.
Sometimes the glass if half-full and sometimes the glass is half-empty, the trick is knowing which it is in the context of those that you interact with. My challenge to you is to work to try and view your “audience” through the appropriate X/Y glasses.
February 4th, 2006
Are people born creative or do they make themselves creative? I believe that while some people have an unique way of looking at life that is interpreted as being “naturally” creative, it’s possible for anyone to learn to be creative.
What is creativity? Creativity is simply “having the quality of something created rather than imitated.” (M-W.com). I think it bears expanding to also include the unique adaptation of existing creations. Anyone can design and build a chair, it’s tough to not imitate the base function of a chair in the process of making a chair, but creativity comes in when a new or unique approach is taken. Often creativity has a “I can’t describe it, but I know it when I see it” quality.
So what spurs creativity, and if it’s a learnable trait, how can you learn to become more creative?
I think that we usually go about our day with a set of “lenses” through which we filter everything. I think that for most people these lenses are pretty similar. We’ve been conditioned through society, culture and media to see the world a certain way; thus we often have common filters.
When someone comes along who has taken off these filters we tend to call them “creative.” What being creative really boils down to is breaking our normal patterns of how we interact with our environment. So, in theory, learning to be more creative mean we have to learn to look at things differently than we do presently.
That sounds easy, right? So why does it feel so hard to think of creative and new things when we’re forced to be creative? Most people say they’re more efficient, productive and creative under pressure, but that’s not true. Teresa Amabile, the head of the Entrepreneurial Management Unit at the Harvard Business School, has shown that creativity doesn’t increase as time-pressure increases (2002). We’re not, in fact, more creative with the pressure of a deadline upon us.
I think this is a fallacy that most people hold. Many people I know - myself included at times - hold the belief that when the pressure is on, the results will be spectacular. We hope and pray our brains will pull out an amazing “Hail-Mary” play as the clock ticks down.
I don’t know about you, but I know that when I’ve gone back and really reviewed and scrutinized the work I’ve done under a tight deadline, I’m never as happy with the result as I am when I have given myself sufficient time. The work is passable, but certainly not my best.
This is one reason I try to keep a “creative buffer” for myself. When I have a paper to write in one of my management classes or I have an article to post to SuccessMinders.com, I try to do the work far enough in advance that I’m not under tremendous pressure. This is one of the reasons I try to keep a queue of 3 or more articles ready to post any any time to this web site; if I have the breathing room to write, and not have to produce an article, I find I’m more creative and more relaxed as I write.
David Allen, of Getting Things Done fame, promotes the idea that our brains can’t truly be creative while they’re stuffed full with details. The major component of the GTD system is to get everything out of your head and onto a list. Allen says the result is a mind that doesn’t have to worry about “stuff.” He also says that once the mind is empty, it can begin to create.
I believe this is true. Have you ever tried to meditate and completely clear your mind? Every time I’ve tried I’ve settled down and worked on making my mind still. It seems that once I sweep enough of my inner voices aside and get the place reasonably empty and tidy, random thoughts - seemingly not under my conscious control - will drift by. The harder I try to stop them and the harder I try to keep my mind empty and still, the more quickly and more frequently these random thoughts invade.
When I clean my head of all the tasks, to-dos, and projects that are usually floating around in my brain I find I’m usually more creative. This is because an empty brain wants to fill itself back up. I don’t follow the GTD system, but I do believe in keeping lists of actions I have to undertake. When I don’t stay on top of keeping my actions on paper and I start to let them pile up in my head I notice a definite slip in the level of my creativity.
Another tool that is important in creativity is old-fashioned paper brain-storming; you might have also heard it called “mind mapping”. There is commercial software as well as free, open-source software available to create nice, neat brainstorm maps, but I personally prefer a pen and a blank piece of paper. When I’m working on a computer I feel like I only get my visual senses working. When I’m working on paper, I get both my visual senses and my “touch-and-feel” (kinesthetic) senses working.
I start with a large sheet of blank, white paper and I write down a central idea in the middle. From there I write down supporting ideas and connect everything together. When everything comes together the results can be very powerful. I created the idea for SuccessMinders.com using this method.
Both of the above mentioned methods are ways to stimulate your mind to produce new ideas…to be creative. In addition, I also use a method I learned about a long time ago. This method involves asking “what if” questions by combining two in-congruent ideas.
What if…peanut butter and jelly came in tubes like toothpaste? - You could make a PB&J sandwich without having to use a knife. Just put some peanut butter on one piece of bread, some jelly on the other piece of bread and presto…you have a PB&J sandwich with no dirty utensils!
Another way to kick-start your creativity is to change your perspective. Perspective is an interesting thing because it’s subjective. Have you ever been laying on the couch or in bed, looking at something nearby on a coffee table or nightstand, and not been able to figure out what you’re looking at? Your brain is wracking itself, unsuccessfully, trying to piece together just exactly what it’s seeing. When you finally change your perspective slightly you realize exactly what you’re looking at - it just snaps into perspective. Because you had been looking at that object from an unusual perspective though, your brain wasn’t able to put it into a recognized context and you couldn’t figure out what it was.
This is the basis for many optical illusions like the famous one to the right. Is it an old woman or a young lady? It all depends on your perspective. It’s extremely difficult to see the other image at first, but once your brain has learned to look at it with a slightly different perspective it’s almost impossible to not see both people!
When I am stuck and can’t think about something creatively, I try to change my perspective. I might lean back in my chair and stare at the ceiling upside down. I might sit on the floor, Indian-style, and look up at my desk. I might try working while standing up. There is no limit to the number of ways you can change your perspective, you just have to get up and do something different.
Finally, I will sometimes find that I am just not being creative. Maybe I have a paper to write for a class, maybe I have a proposal I need to write for a client, maybe I’m just stuck and feel like I can’t move on. When this happens I “sleep on it.” Sometimes its figurative, I’ll go walk around or put my problem to the side and try to get it out of my mind. Other times it’s literal; I’ll literally go to sleep and let my brain mull over an idea to try to get my creative juices flowing. This is a big reason I know I don’t do my best work under pressure. If I’m under such an extreme amount of pressure, I probably can’t walk away for any period of time.
So my five-point approach to creativity is:
1) Get your mind empty!
Make sure there is room to hold your creative ideas; make it a habit to keep your mental clutter on paper and out of your head.
2) Brainstorm and mind map!
Get into the habit of using visual and kinesthetic planning to layout your ideas. When you brainstorm on paper, you’ll sometimes be surprised at the connections - the creative connections - you’ll make.
3) Ask “what if” questions!
Take two ideas and just moosh ‘em together! Then try to imagine what or how your “what if” could be viable.
4) Change your perspective!
Get up, get down, do something to force a perspective change. Make your brain work a little to process incoming information.
5) Sleep on it!
When you’re stuck in a rut, put things aside and let your subconscious mull it over. If you’ve emptied out your head, brainstormed, what-if’ed and changed your perspective and you haven’t yet found your well of creativity don’t beat yourself up over it. Give your brain a break!
February 2nd, 2006
Recently I was talking with my wife about this web site; asking her thoughts about it. She told me that she thought the articles were good, but she didn’t see anywhere on the site where I mentioned her. Why wasn’t she one of my passions?
I have to admit I was taken aback - how could my wife think she wasn’t one of my passions? Of course she is - she’s supported me through every half-baked, half-cocked or hair-brained scheme I’ve undertaken since we’ve been together. I thought she should just know she’s one of my passions.
But when I started to reflect on it a little more, and really reviewed my site with an eye towards her feelings, I realized that I haven’t really said anything about her or my passion and love for her.
Even thought I thought it was a given, I hadn’t said it. I wasn’t providing enough support myself to the people that let me be successful. Without her support, encouragement and help I wouldn’t be half as successful as I am today. When I think I can’t achieve something, or I’m not as good as I want to be, she’s there, supporting me, encouraging me and making sure she sets me straight when I get too negative.
How often have you done this - taken the people who are your support system for granted? It’s easy to do, and once you start letting these relationships erode, you’re doomed to wander down the path to failure! So how do you keep the relationships in your success support system in tip-top shape?
Not taking a person for granted sounds easy in theory; making sure you never do it in practice is a little more difficult. As people live and work and share close relationships it’s easy to slip into a routine where the status quo and the rigors of daily life keep us focused more on our own needs and wants than on those of others around us.
How you keep focused on them and not yourself isn’t difficult; there isn’t any magic formula or 5-step “secret program.” In the words of a famous advertising campaign; you “just do it.”
Every day do the following for the people that support your success:
- Encourage them
- Challenge them
- Excite them
- Congratulate them
- Help them
- Praise them
- Love them
- Teach them
- Learn from them
- Support them
The easy part is the “doing.” The hard part is keeping your passion for them forefront every day!
I’ll admit for myself that it’s a struggle sometimes. At the end of a long week I have been known to think of myself first and my wife second. I’m ready to relax and unwind and be left alone. But it’s my wife’s support, encouragement and help that gets me through the week in the first place!
Like everything else you can make a habit out of keeping yourself aware of your need to support those that support you. After our conversation I took a small card and wrote, “I keep my wife first in my mind; I support, excite, challenge, help, love, teach, learn from and encourage her every day!”
I keep this card in my wallet and I look at it each morning when I put my wallet in my pants and each night when I take my wallet out of my pants. It’s a constant reminder to not take her for granted, and with time the behaviors will become a habit.
How many people in your life would benefit if you created a card (and habit) like this for yourself?
January 15th, 2006
Have you ever thought about what your unique talent is? There is something that you do better than anyone else - it’s your purpose for being, it’s your dharma.
If this sounds a bit “out there” please allow me to sound a little metaphysical for a moment, I promise I’ll make a point. Dharma is the law of “being”; defined broadly as the fulfillment of an inherent nature or destiny. To “follow dharma” means to act in accordance with divine law.
I like the way writer Deepak Chopra puts it; “When you blend your unique talent with service to others, you experience the ecstasy and exultation of your own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals!”
So when you know you’re living and working in accordance with your dharma, you’re in harmony. I think that means that understanding what your dharma is, is an important step in growth and development.
If you don’t know what your dharma is, how do you find it?
If we use Deepak’s definition above then we need to define what our unique talent is, that we can use to be of service to others.
Here are some questions you can use to begin to outline this for yourself:
1) If you were completely financially independent - if you had ten million dollars in cash - what would you do? What would you get out of bed for in the morning? What would you pay to be able to do? Write down your answers until you start coming up with things that don’t feel “true” to yourself.
2) What hobby totally holds your attention? What do you do that causes you to completely lose track of time? Watching television doesn’t count! Write a paragraph or two about your favorite hobby or activity - detail counts here so feel free to make it as detailed as possible.
3) How could you transform what you’ve written above to be in the service of other people? List some different ways you can incorporate helping others into what you’ve already listed.
For example, one of my passions is photography - it’s one of the things I would pay other people to let me do. When I’m working on a photography project I often lose track of time. I love to help someone visualize a photo, work with them to create the picture, and then see the look on their face when I deliver the final image and it’s exactly what they wanted. I think I get a bigger charge out of seeing them happy with the final image than they do.
These are ways to know your working to your dharma. You’re easily in “the zone” and time is slipping away more quickly than it seems possible. You’re not only feeling powerful and excited and energetic for yourself, but you’re helping other people - providing a service.
You’re creating a positive energy flow around yourself. This positive energy flow creates affluence for yourself. Most people associate affluence with having money and wealth, but affluence literally means “a plentiful flow”.
When you are working to your dharma, positive energy is flowing out from you and positive energy will also begin to flow in to you. You’re creating affluence for yourself and you will eventually be rewarded for your affluence of positive energy.
It’s not an easy task to determine what your dharma is. I have thought and reflected and journaled on this very topic for years, and I still encounter new things that change my perceptions of what my dharma might be. However the struggle to answer this question for yourself will be rewarded with amazing amounts of positive energy and personal growth.
It’s well worth investing the time to answer this question for yourself; what is your dharma?
December 23rd, 2005
What is your purpose, your mission? It’s a difficult question to answer, but when you take the time to fully examine and create your personal mission state you will be empowered with a guide that you can use to get your bearings in life, in your career and in your relationships.
Just as a company’s mission statement defines it’s core purpose - the reason for the company’s existence - a personal mission statement defines the reason you operate the way you do. An effective personal mission statement is inspiring and easily understood by yourself and others in your life.
Five years ago I had no clue how to begin a personal mission statement. I had this vague idea that creating one would be a good thing, because at the time I started writing it I didn’t feel like I had a clear direction for my life and myself. So I sat down and struggled with writing one and after many revisions finally arrived at my personal mission statement:
“I will work in an environment where I can learn and expand my skills while making a difference to those with which I work, and in the business I conduct.
I will treat all that I encounter fairly and justly, in a manner in which I myself would wish to be treated.
I will commit myself fully in relationships with those I love.
I will work at tasks that I enjoy and excite me, to achieve financial freedom. This freedom will allow me to pursue my desires to work with technology, and to pursue my entrepreneurial spirit with new ideas and business ventures. This freedom will allow me to take care of, and spend time with my family.”
Over the last five years I’ve tried to reflect on my mission statement at least monthly, and I’ve made it a point to consult it when making major decisions.
I’ve also learned to share it with the people in my life who can have a dramatic impact on my performance and my life. And this is the big secret I’ve learned over the years; if you’re not sharing your personal mission statement with your mentor and the people in your influence network, you’re missing out on a lot of the power of having a personal mission statement in the first place.
For about three years I kept my personal mission statement hidden from just about everyone. I looked at it often, and I used it to help guide my decision, but I didn’t share with others my mission. Finally about two years ago I made a point to share my personal mission statement with one of the senior executives at my company. I finally decided to share my personal mission statement because the individual with whom I shared it was a huge supporter of personal growth and development.
Once I shared it, and I wasn’t laughed at for my mission statement, I immediately felt more comfortable sharing it with others. As I did, my circle of influential people grew. At the same time, I helped provide direction to a few people around me to write their own personal mission statement.
As I shared my mission, I found that more opportunities that were extremely closely aligned with my personal mission statement appeared out of nowhere. The “vibe” I was communicating out was coming back and providing me with benefits that were multiplied many times over.
Today there is no reason to not have a personal mission statement! There are numerous resources on the Internet and in books that will walk you along the process of creating your own personal mission statement.
There are some excellent worksheets in Tommy Newberry’s book “Success Is Not An Accident
” that will help you with your creation of a personal mission statement. Franklin-Covey offers a free, web-based interactive mission statement builder on their web site. Steve Pavlina also has an excellent article on his blog titled, “How to discover your life purpose in about 20 minutes” It’s not a personal mission statement guide per say, but if you complete the exercise you’ll have a better understanding of whether your mission statement is aligned with your purpose.
If you don’t have a personal mission statement I would challenge you to spend at least a half-hour working on one for yourself. Here’s a quick way to write a personal mission statement:
1) Start writing all the things that best capture your personal values and beliefs; in this step completeness is more important than making it “sound good”.
2) Cull your best ideas down into your first draft of your personal mission statement.
3) Put this draft away for a few days! You want to let your subconscious mull around your first draft of your mission statement. Let things gel for a few days to a week, don’t consciously think about your personal mission statement. This is the most important step of the process.
4) After about a week pull out your personal mission statement and re-read it. Does it ring true? Does it strike a chord deep inside you? Does is just feel “right”? If yes, great! It’s time to polish it! If no, then go back to the beginning and brainstorm some more.
5) Remember high-school English class and endless re-writing of your papers? It’s time to put that practice to good use by re-writing your personal mission statement until you have a version you’re happy with.
6) Take this semi-final version of your personal mission statement and test it. If you have one, ask your mentor’s opinion of your personal mission statement. Ask close, supportive, friends of their opinion of your personal mission statement. Put your feelings on hold during this process and really look for and accept constructive criticism of your personal mission statement. This is the major benefit of having a mentor or personal development network you trust.
7) Take all of the feedback and look at your personal mission statement in the light of any recommendations or comments you’ve received. Make any changes you feel are needed. This should be your final draft and the end result should be your personal mission statement; congratulations!
Once you have your personal mission statement finished, commit to yourself that you will regularly review it and consult it before making major life decisions to make sure those decisions are aligned with your mission and your beliefs.
I guarantee you that you’ll see positive changes in your life as you spend more and more time integrating your personal mission statement into your routine. As you put it out to others, you’ll start to see new opportunities present themselves that just seem perfect for you!
December 6th, 2005
