SuccessMinders Interview: Azher M. Khan

I recently sat down with Azher Khan of Calderon Textiles to interview him about his thoughts on success, goals, and self-development.

He is one of three share holders of Calderon Textiles in Indianapolis, Indiana and has been - by any measure - very successful in both his personal and professional roles. Azher is a native of Karachi, Pakistan and credited with the original concept of importing quality linens and distributing them to the U.S. market. He holds a Master’s Degree in Public Administration from the American University. He also has been a key figure in Indiana providing relief to Pakistan in the wake of the 2005 earthquake that killed 75,000 people.

JC: People seem to be drawn to success individuals and want to know their “secret” or get some “quick-fix” advice that will make them successful too. What advice do you give to people who ask you how to achieve success similar to yours?

AK: I don’t know if you would like a word to describe what I feel is needed to be successful, but in my mind several people have talked to me, including a young person who is going through college and wanting that light bulb to come on, and I say two things are needed: Logic and Action.

Now there may be better words to describe what I am about to explain, but maybe my most favorite word or concept to tie them together is balance. You have these two things that are needed, and then you create a balance in everything you do. There is nothing that one can say they do where they don’t need balance. So these two things I feel are needed.

When I say Logic, I mean you have to be able to think through to make a plan – there is no “quick fix”. The best analogy I can share is to say I need to get to Chicago for business; I start putting a plan together. In order to be there at a certain time, I need to leave at a certain time. I need to get on I-465 and take the exit to I-65 and then get on IN-294 and so on and so forth. I’ve got to take money with me, etc. There is such importance in logical thinking and planning, and you know, understanding even why you’re going there or doing something – what your objective is – all of that. So to think through everything critically and be able to put together a plan is a great ability you have to develop.

Then the second ability is action. If you don’t put your plan into action, you’ll never get there. So if you take action, it needs to be consistent with the plan. So you say, “Okay, I’ve got to go to Chicago, it’s very important.” But if you never get going, then what good is all the logic and planning and thinking through?

And if you do get out but don’t execute the plan in a timely way, then it won’t work. So you get on I-465, but never look that you need to get onto I-65…and you end up going in circles. (laughs)

You would be surprised at how many people have one or the other.

They will either dream about something, but never take the time to think through and plan their lives and goals and priorities. Or they’ll have all these grandiose plans, but don’t have the will to get going. And unfortunately a young person I know is a great example of a guy who wants to do well; he thinks all of these things, but unfortunately he doesn’t take action. I’ve told him that. What happened is he wanted to go into law, and I was very supportive of his decision. Twice now he’s not made the time to take the LSAT. So he had a plan, but no action.

In those regards, and in everything else, you’ve got to have balance.

JC: A lot of people don’t look forward to going to work each day because their major motivator isn’t congruent with what they’re doing (i.e. they work for the money, not for their enjoyment of the work). What is your major motivator? What makes you jump out of bed in the morning, ready to tackle the day?

AK: The key is people. The key is people and a sense of committment to them. There is almost nothing I wouldn’t do for them. Once I had an employee with two small children who was thrown out by her husband. She was faced with moving to Southern Indiana where she had family, but instead called me. Do you know she stayed with my for two weeks - with two small children! It wasn’t two years or two months, but I believe it says a lot that she felt comfortable enough to come to me for help. It’s the relationships I have with some people - I feel like I can’t let them down.

I think that - going back to what I was saying about man being an animal - is that we’re a social animal. And understanding people is the key part of being a leader and a successful person.

I don’t…you can’t do major things without people. Even the best-of-the-best had people to help them - look at the prophets; did Jesus spread his message by himself? (pauses) He had disciples, exactly! And look at how young He was when He died and the power of His message.

And Moses - he had a stuttering problem - and he had to convince the Pharoh - and he was from the Pharoh’s house which shows that good can come from evil. And he prayed, ‘God open my tounge’ when we was going to meet the Pharoh and tell him to release the Israleites.

Last year I had to appeal to the Customs and Border about a large fine they wanted to levey against the company and I prayed to open my tounge and share the truth. The employees at Calderon, they rely on and counted on me to win the case and we did!”

Moses’ brother - I don’t know his name, in the Qur’an we call him ‘Haroon’ - was his ’spokes person’ and even the Prophet Mohammad had people around him he relied on.

I believe there is goodness in everyone - something good - in everyone and you have to “tap” it out. You get it not by being evil and fighting but with love and kindness.”

I respect everyone and expect respect…I will not comprimise on that.

You have to let the process prevale to find the goodness in people. You try your level best to find it, don’t give up on tapping the goodness. When you do find it the reward will be sweet and you will have a permanent victory by reaching out. You build a friend for life.

Now I don’t quite believe in ‘turning the other cheek’ - if you hit me I’m going to…to hit you back, hopefully harder (laughs) but you have to go a long way before I’ll write off a relationship.

JC: How do you balance between when it’s time to stop making the plan and when it’s time to start taking action? You can plan yourself to death, and you can take all the action in the world and not have a good plan. So what do you use as a barometer to balance the two, how do you know when it’s time to stop planning and start taking action?

AK: I think it is experience and intuition that helps you create that balance. You continue to stay focused on that balance and it helps you to continue to keep planning and thinking and vice-versa. Focusing on balance doesn’t allow you to just jump to action without thinking too.

So those two, logic and action, are important – the two ends of the scale – and in the middle is balance which helps you to not tip to far toward either end.

JC: Successful people are generally well read and enjoy learning new and interesting material. What great books are you reading right now?

AK: I would say there are several; it’s hard to pick one or two. However the book I would have to say is the most important and influential book to me would have to be Tuesdays with Morrie.

I also like books about people who have been in business and biographies because the whole point is to try to get as much experience as soon as you can! (laughs)

I would say that I wish we could go through life twice, but knowing what we knew when we were here before, because you learn the first time through (laughs). So what better way is there to learn than to read biographies of people and try to learn from their experiences? You know? Jack Welsh is a good example of this and probably someone you’ve heard of.

Another good book that I really enjoyed is Good to Great by Phil Collins or Jim Collins…something Collins.

A point I want to mention is that in my mind you can never read a book without a pencil. I always say you can’t read without a pen and pencil…and highlighter!

JC: Can you finish this sentence: “A man’s destiny is…….”

AK: …is to leave to his family, community, and country a better world.

If you’ve affected the home, you’ve affected – in some way – all of those. Then your children can affect the world, their children will effect the world – so you try to impact as much as you can, but the minimum is your obligation to your family, then to your community, then to your country, and then your obligation to this world.

JC: One thing that has always impressed me is the amount of consideration that you give to other people when you talk about being with their family. When you told me to, “Go home and be with Michelle” when she was ill, that’s rare – you don’t see that much today. How do you maintain the balance between family and home with business?

AK: You know it’s a tough one because of course there is so much to do at work, with travel, and all that. The best way – I feel – is two ways:

Number one is you always look at quality rather than quantity. You give your complete devotion. When I took three or four days out of the office, my daughter and I flew to Los Angeles, rented a car, and drove on Highway 1 to San Francisco. So you try to give the best you can during that time and just focus on that person.

The second is just the fact that they know you’re available, so trust is created.

I can use the example – a short story to share this with you – It’s about my other daugher when she got her first car. I was going out of town and I needed to borrow her car to take to the airport for an early morning flight. I left home at 4:30 in the morning. She came downstairs at 8 o’clock to go to school and said, “Mom, I need my purse and it’s in my car!” and my wife said, “Did you tell your father to bring it in last night?” She said, “No, but I know him, and I’m sure he did.”

My wife said, “No, I don’t think so, I saw him leave this morning and he didn’t come back in.”

She said, “No, I’m sure he did.”

And she went out into the garage and her purse and her friend’s water bottle were sitting on the steps, and she said, “See, mom?”

The point is that she was so convinced that she could always count on her father to look after her – to be concerned about her – even as he is leaving or is busy with something. The most import thing…trust. And by leaving her purse for her, it created and reinforced that confidence.

JC: The saying goes, “hindsight is 20/20” and we’ve all made mistakes that years later we realized had a bigger impact than we thought at the time. Are there any mistakes that – if you could go back and correct – would have led you to even greater success?

AK: Yeah, yeah…there are plenty of mistakes and if I think back I would say that there were many times I’ve acted contradictory to what I’ve been saying.

My brother moved from Pakistan to America. I was going to college at the time, but I really wanted to do my duty to him. I was consumed by my obligation to family and I was not able to complete my law degree and education. So some of that compromise now I feel did not create balance, it was too much towards his needs and not as much towards mine.

And I feel that the focus has to be in the right place – I talk about family and all – but you have to break it down to your obligations and priorities and understand your priorities.

Your first obligation is to yourself and your family, and then it needs to be your extended family, and then to your bigger family, and then the community. At that time I was so concerned and focused on my extended family that I was out of balance with everything else.

JC: Most of us plateau with our quest for personal growth if we don’t have a relationship with someone who strives to keep us raising our bar and building us up. Do you have a “coach” or mentor? How did you find that person and form the relationship? Is there any invaluable piece of information they’ve given you that’s stuck out more than others?

AK: I would have to give you three names of people who’ve had a great impact on me. Not in any particular order, but all three are important:

Bob (a management consultant) would be one of them. He’s just an incredible person, his motivation…I don’t understand it…he has so many clients, but he acts like each client is his only client. You can be calling at ten o’clock at night or five o’clock in the morning and he’s patient and thinking about the company. What I’ve learned from him is very incredible; so he would be one.

The other is a person by the name of Hamid; he is a vice president at Sallie Mae and head of their I.T. department. And he’s a friend, a very nice guy; it’s been a pleasure to have him as a friend.

The third would be my religious teacher – I don’t know if you want his name or not – his title is “Sheik”. He brings a sense of balance to his teachings. If you look at all of these other people, there are a lot of extremes with religious beliefs and I don’t feel like they have the right balance you know?

One thing I can think of that I’ve learned is that – Hamid made a statement – that I rely so much on relationships. I believe in people so much, and he said, “You can rely on relationships up to a point, after that you have to have the know-how, the knowledge, and all of the other tools necessary to get the job done.”

So you’ve got to continue to have your pursuit of knowledge instead of just relying completely on relationships.

JC: In our world of ever increasing appointments, and twenty-four hour-a-day lifestyle, how do you allocate your day so you don’t get overwhelmed with commitments? How do you block-out time to spend on your own growth and development?

AK: Yes, yes, that I struggle with all the time. I’m struggling with this now actually. And I don’t know if I’ve got the answer myself! (laughs)

JC: What do you do to relax, unwind, and de-stress yourself? How do you unwind from the pressure and stress of all your commitments?

AK: Several things, but most important is the kids. I can get one hug from Soha, one phone call from Ammar or Rima; that does a tremendous amount to relax me. Just yesterday Soha saw me and said, “Dad, what’s wrong? Let’s talk.” And it was just two or three minutes with her, but it meant a lot.

And I am trying to do – but not enough – walking. And using that time to think and reflect.

I love to be able to go and spend an hour just gardening. That’s one of the most enjoyable things I do; to do physical work and gardening, to put the flowers in and take the weeds out.

JC: Goal setting is usually cited as the number-one vehicle to achieving success, but most people never go further than to “day-dream” about how they would like their life to be or what possessions they want. How do you approach goal setting? Do you write your goals down? How often do you review them?

AK: I do, and most people do it the first of January and then don’t look at it! What I do is I have it [my goals] on my desktop, and than I try to look at it periodically.

And it’s okay to re-write them, you have to constantly go back to them as things change. It’s better to change the goal than to just give it up.

I don’t know if I have a set schedule to review them, it’s not every week, but whenever I know that I’m struggling a lot, I go back to them. When you struggle you’ve got to go back and review them, and if you need to, go back to the drawing board.

JC: Getting clear on what outcome you want to achieve is crucial to goal-setting, personal growth and achieving success. How do you define – to you – what you really want out of life so you can craft a plan to achieve it? How do you get yourself crystal-clear on your goals and ambitions?

AK: I think perhaps the biggest understanding that I believe in that helps me is the capacity and understanding of what greed is. I think that my relationship, especially with my business partners would be very difficult to have sustained for years if we didn’t keep greed in check. So we don’t start thinking, “Gosh, every effort that I make, the best I can ever do is one third. So how do I get the other two thirds – the whole?” So it’s very important to keep focused.

I think that the biggest thing would be…for me it comes down to family. It comes down to what I see I want to leave behind, and there is nothing more important than that to me and it is what helps drive me and create the energy to be able to get up in the morning and come to work.

The mistake people make is they look at the means as being the end. Their financial success is for what purpose? So giving to your family, giving to your community, giving to your country is important.

If you just completely focus on the financial and the material and the greed then you’ve lost focus on what the purpose was to be to begin with! So I think that understanding that – it’s my understanding – someone else may come along and tell you its wrong, that’s okay (chuckles), but I think it’s something else…

For example, currently I don’t have a car. I had to turn in my last car when it came off lease. Then in May, my wife had to turn in her car when the lease ended. So we both were without a car! Now I think it would be unbelievable for most people to think that of running a $70 million company and not having a car!

But my son had a car – you know – a G35 Infinity. And it was such a pleasure to see that as opposed to me having a car. I don’t say we can not have a car; the truth is you cannot get by without a car, but I’m saying that’s not the focus. It was so nice for him to get into the IU Kelly School of Business, that same day I got him a car and it has taken me – what – four months to decide for myself! (laughs)

JC: Do you have a formula for personal growth and development? How do you keep your mind nourished with positive and encouraging information to promote personal development?

AK: I think it’s a combination of all that we’ve discussed. So it is a combination of all of those things; family, a sense of commitment, religious experience, and the expectation I have placed on myself for, and to, others.

I now I cannot let these people down just because it is easy to get distracted.

Do I not look at a nice car and think, “Man, would I like to have that?” Yes, but it all gets checked by the beliefs that I mentioned, so you work on these things to create a situation – a point – where it’s very difficult to go backwards.

Let me end by saying this; it is possible to go from being a person to being a saint, but you cannot go from being a saint…down. We all develop up, and climb the stairs, but you cannot climb those stairs downwards – you know, going to steal, and do something wrong – because you’ve achieved a higher status.

Your own values and, peoples’ expectation shouldn’t allow you to go from being what you are to being any less than that. Now that you’ve climbed up, there is no down button on the elevator (chuckles).

I hope this captures the essence of what I’m saying. I mean, you can go from being Satan to being a saint, but how do you go from being a saint to being Satan?

You should always try to work hard to ascend yourself to the point even where God says, “What do you want?”

That’s what we have to do…just ascend, ascend, ascend. So for personal growth, to create that love and commitment, to continue…you just have to ascend!

Add comment October 1st, 2007

How’s your “bedside manner”?

Recently my wife complained of severe abdominal pain and nausea, so bad she asked to be taken to the hospital. When she was admitted, the doctors tried to get her feeling comfortable while they puzzled over what might be causing her problems.

The doctors listened with their stethoscopes, drew blood tests, had x-rays taken, and scheduled CT scans. Almost every test came back completely normal with one exception - a slightly enlarged appendix.

“Ah Ha!” cried the doctors, “Call in the surgeons, her appendix needs to come out!”

And in came the surgeons. They poked and prodded and asked for lengthy medical histories. Finally they concluded they thought the problem might be the appendix, but they weren’t sure; they decided to operate and remove it anyway.

While all of this was going on, my wife’s mother kept telling the doctors, the nurses, and the surgeons, “You know, when I was just a little older than her I had very similar symptoms. It was my gallbladder, can you test that?” The surgeons all thanked her for her input, but you could clearly tell they didn’t care what she had to say since she wasn’t a medical professional…The appendix was removed.

A week later my wife was again complaining of severe abdominal pain and nausea, she had been doing well the week before, this second attack came on suddenly, like the first - so we went back to the hospital. This time her doctor was G.I. specialist who ran the same blood work tests, asked for the same x-rays to be taken, and prepped her for a CT scan - all of which came back completely normal.

He came into her room and started telling her that he wasn’t sure what the problem was - it might in fact just be a nasty virus. It was about this point that her mother flew off the handle and demanded they perform a gallbladder function test. She was so adamant that the G.I. doctor was - I think - caught off guard. He agreed to perform tests on her gallbladder. A few hours later a surgeon came back in and announced the tests showed her gallbladder was functioning abnormally and needed to come out; surgery was scheduled for the next morning.

Throughout the entire process, the think that consistently stuck in my mind was how much each persons “bedside manner” varied, and how much those variations impacted my opinion of the person.

The internal medicine specialist was fabulous, she was caring, concerned, and compassionate. Her bedside manner made us feel completely as ease even while she told us that according to all of the test results, my wife was completely normal.

The G.I. specialist was terrible, he seemed have more important things to be doing than explaining what might be causing the G.I. symptoms my wife was experiencing. He was rushed and didn’t seem to have (or want) any emotional connection to any of us. He left us all feeling more anxious about the situation.

Finally, the surgeon was - as is often stereotyped - arrogant. He was very calm and self-assured, and while he did a very good job of explaining the procedure at a highly intellectual and technical level, he didn’t make any attempt at an emotional connection. The general feeling we all got from him was he didn’t really care one way or the other. After the surgery he seemed indifferent, even put off, by my wife’s questions.

The nursing staff varied from excellent to worthless depending on who was assigned to my wife.

The major differences between all of these people, with all of their extremely specialized training, was their bedside manner. Some really became involved and drew us in; others left us feeling distanced and unconnected. It made me really think about the relationships I’ve had and currently have. How is my “bedside manner” when it comes to establishing and building relationship?

I realized that, for me, the act of establishing a relationship wasn’t difficult, but the maintenance of relationships was. For me, maintenance or relationships is a weak area that I need to work on.

I found it interesting to think about my relationships in this doctor/patient “bedside manner” framework. How much better could my relationships be if I tried to make sure I had the characteristics I admired in the first doctor? Caring, compassion, concern - those are powerful concepts that Dr. Harris had nailed. In the little time she spent with my wife, she “felt” like an old friend even though she didn’t really know my wife. When you can feel like an old friend in only a few minutes, you’ve made a powerful connection.

So, how is your bedside manner? Do you strive to build deep relationships or are you aloof and distanced? If you were a patient laying in a hospital bed, would you want your doctor to act like you do in relationships? When I stop to really think about it I know there are certainly aspects and behaviours of myself I wouldn’t want a doctor to have while working with me.

As for me, I need to triage my bedside manner and send it to the ICU for some critical-care changes! Maybe you do too?

1 comment May 17th, 2006

Do you skim the surface or dive deep?

A few days ago I was sitting in a doctor’s waiting room, waiting on my wife. They had a TV tuned to a local station, showing the morning news. With my only other entertainment option being to read a 9 month old copy of “Good Housekeeping” - I settled in to watch the news.

There was a teaser right before a commercial block promising a must-see segment on how to protect my baby from RSV. I don’t have a baby and I wasn’t even sure what the heck “RSV” was, but the anchor sold it with such urgency that I knew I must stay tuned to learn these potentially life-saving tips.

When the commercials were over, the lead in promise me that I would soon be thanking the local news team for this vital information about saving my baby’s life from RSV; thus the segment began.

I learned that “RSV” is an acronym for respiratory syncytial virus - the news segment never really made it clear what exactly it was other than a respiratory “bug”.

The “life saving” tips amounted to a fancy on-screen graphic with the following tips (literally):

How to Protect Your Baby
1) Hand Washing
2) Avoidance of Infected People
3) Vaccination

And with that, the news segment was over. There was no additional information about RSV. There was no additional information about how you could identify if the people around you had RSV so you could avoid them. The entire segment was very superficial and seemed to pander to a “lowest common denominator” viewing segment.

The rest of the time I watched the morning news program I realized that all they were doing was skimming the surface of every topic they covered.

And it made me think about my own interactions with people. Did I just skim the surface or did I dive deep? That is, did I make only a superficial effort with other people or did I really take the time and energy to get to know someone on a deeper level?

I think we make snap judgments when meeting people on whether or not we’re going to skim the surface with that person or dive deep and really get to know them, but why do we decide this? As compassionate and passionate people shouldn’t we want to get to know everyone on a deeper level?

There have been times I’ve been guilty of simply skimming the surface myself. I’ve been to parties or business mixers where I didn’t really make any real effort to get to know the people to whom I was introduced. When I’ve skimmed the surface in the past, those events have never been very meaningful for me.

Conversely when I’ve been at events where I’ve really made an effort to dive deep and put effort into really getting to know people on a personal level I find the events to be much more personally fulfilling and meaningful. And the times I’ve made an effort to dive deep in relationships with people, I’ve made friends and forged very strong relationships.

Some of these relationships have benefited me in business immensely over and over again.

Do you skim the surface in some relationships while diving deep in others? Why? Why don’t you dive deep with everyone? I realize that this is a bit of an idealistic statement - there are times where the other person is only interested in skimming the surface with you, there are times when you just don’t have the energy, etc. But think how many more fulfilling relationships you would have if you tried to dive deep with everyone!

This is where passion comes into play. If you’re passionate about success and achievement and personal development, you should be passionate about helping other people understand your success-oriented message. You can’t do this unless you dive deep and really build a meaningful relationship where trust and understanding is a key part of the foundation.

I don’t know about you, but I get excited thinking about the possibility of building deep, strong relationships like this. I might not be able to help everyone find passion and enthusiasm for personal development - some just won’t be interested - but when I can help that one person who needs help, well the feeling is just amazingly powerful!

And really, diving deep only takes a little more effort than skimming the surface. Think about a situation where you skimmed the surface with someone; what would it really have taken to go deeper? In most cases it will only take a sincere desire to really listen to and understand the person with whom your interacting. And you’ll have the added benefit of really making that other person’s day because we all feel great when we’re talking to someone who’s interested in letting us talk about ourselves!

So the next time you catch yourself skimming the surface with another person, make the effort to dive deep. Who knows, you might just end up building a long lasting relationship!

Add comment February 20th, 2006